Saturday 14 September 2013

On Behalf of @barbiez2013 (who needs to start a blog for the good of humanity!)

WHY RLJESSEN'S "I SURVIVED ZOMBIES ON FRIDAY THE 13TH" IS ZOMBIEST, BLONDIST, ELITIST AND, ULTIMATELY, ANTI-AMERICAN

(POSTERS NOTE:  I am posting this on behalf of my girl @barbiez2013 because she can't figure out how to use this "computer dolly thingy" -- her words, not mine.)

As I sat and read @rljessen's bloggy thingy, tears welled up in my once almond shaped eye.  (I'm down one eye -- I think it's somewhere in Piedmont Park, reward for safe return.) 

@rljessen makes it clear that she is not only anti-Zombie, which can be excused as necessary for survival, but she is also an elitist who regards blondes, and other non-academics, as worthless.  This stance ultimately makes her dangerous to all of us as Americans, whether Zombie or human.

Her prejudice is illustrated by the following:

1.  She makes the ridiculous suggestion that ALL Zombies are headless.  This is totally untrue!!!  I, and all my Zombie girlfriends (including, but not limited to, @karenatsharon and @ATLSockMonkey), still have heads that are very intact, thank you very much.  Sure an eye has been lost here and there.  An ear perhaps  . . . but heads are all accounted for.

Don't think we don't recognize this thinly veiled attempt to associate headlessness with terror and fear from childhood.  We all read "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow."  You are quite simply pandering to baser instincts and should be ashamed.  Just because I don't have a PhD, doesn't mean I can't read, Ms. Jessen, or Dr. Jessen.  Whatever!

2.  Your suggestion that your fellow professors have lost their value because they are now Zombie is equally insensitive.  Have you been playing this game? Have you even been watching?  Have you seen how we have banded together?  #girlpower  How family bonds have traveled through to the undead lifestyle? @allistelling and @ATLSockMonkey.

Maybe you haven't been reading, but you should.  You should read before you speak -- especially when you have young, innocent, yummy brain-filled, warm blooded, yummy, young, nubile, yummy   . . .  students who look up to you.

3.  I'm too emotional to speak about your comments relating to my zombie, sister-girl @karenatsharon.  Suffice to say, she continues to live a full and vital life and is valued by her new Zombie family.  In fact, she is standing up for me at my wedding tonight.

4.  You encourage cowardice.  How can you feed into such Zombie stereotypes?  You know,  we are not in a 1940s horror movie!

Are we watching?  Yes.  As you sleep in your beds at night?  Maybe.  While you cook dinner for your yummy little human children?  Perahps.  That's all beside the point.  I haven't eaten you yet, have I?  Not yet . . .

All of these points clearly demonstrate that you have no regard for anyone that is different from you, whether they be blonde, or Zombie, or non-professor types.  Your continued use of this vibrant forum to attempt to turn humans (both American AND even Canadian I am now told) against Zombies is just plain wrong, Madame.  Left unchecked, who knows what you can do.

Consider yourself checked AND #overrun.

Sincerely,

Ms.  Millicent Udeceased a/k/a @barbiez2013